Me vs. Myself

I have a confession to make. I used to be very confused in regards to what I needed to follow in order to be an obedient and "good" Christian. I would lay down in my bed at night and pray that God show me a way and I would ask myself, "what is your will Lord?" Every time I would sit and pray I would hear my father's words running through my head. "If you love me, obey me"... That's when it hit me, I realized that love is obedience and that if I wanted to be more like him I would have to obey him... Well, that didn't help too much but was a start in my journey. As I poured through the bible I began to see some interesting patterns in regards to what Christ stated was disobedience. I would read verses where Christ would talk about how we can serve only two masters and when Christ told us to "pick up our crosses and follow him". Then the spirit redirected me to a phrase I had heard throughout my childhood. "I must decrease so that he can increase"... Then I realized something, right and wrong become painfully simple. It's a case of me versus Christ. Everyday I wake up do I follow his will or my own. Sin is not simply disobeying certain rules and regulations that were set forth in the Old/ New Testament. Sin is choosing to put ourselves on a higher pedestal and making our flesh to idol of our life. The spirit is there for the purpose of revealing the heart or "spirit" of our actions, telling us if they are of God or of our own flesh. How wonderful it is that we have a spirit that directs us and guides us, if we let it. It reminds me of Paul when he says, "I do the things I don't want to do, and I don't do the things I want to do". To obey is to follow God with our hearts and actions. Sometimes we'll fall, but we must not stay on the ground and allow our flesh to undo our work. We must pick ourselves up and help us love one another and bring out the spirit within us all, that flame within us that lights the world. For it to be so simple relieves and saddens me, it relieves me because I know the path that I am on and I need only listen to the spirit for guidance. It saddens me because there exists a group of Christians that are chained to the old ways, reading and obeying the laws and disregarding the true law Christ intended for us. At the end of the day it becomes a battle of Me vs. Myself. I'm my own enemy and I must choose to decrease so that he may increase within me and within my world.